Andrew Sullivan has weighed in on the tabloid story du jour, saying "I'm a conservative of doubt on this JonBenet arrest."  Which got me wondering:  how do the various schools of conservative thought seek to understand arrests in decade-old child beauty pageant murder cases?

Paleo-conservative:  The perpetrator comes from a culture in which murdering child beauty pageant contestants in their basements is an acceptable practice.  Judging him by our standards and attempting to "change" him is not only arrogant but also dangerous.

Neo-conservative:  If we allow the murder of child beauty pageant contestants in Colorado it's only a matter of time before they're killing child beauty pageant contestants in our own cities.

Realist:  If we attempt to punish this particular murderer of child beauty pageant contestants we set a precedent for intervention in all child murders.  We should only prevent child murder in North Asia and Western Europe, where it might harm our vital interests.

Libertarian:  Yes, we're preventing child murder—but at what cost to our civil liberties and way of life?

Gibsonite conservative:  The Jews are responsible for all the child beauty pageant murders in the world.

It's tough to be in Iraq and also keep up, at least minimally, with what's going on back in the States.  I can't really tell how big a deal the Ramsey story is.  It's on the front page of most of the news websites I check, but that doesn't necessarily mean people care.  Personally, I'd classify myself as a "conservative of disinterest" on this one.  If this is the guy I'm glad the girl and her family will get some justice.  If he's a warped publicity seeker, that's creepy but not necessarily interesting.  Beyond that the story never grabbed my attention (and I'm not immune to the lure of tabloid journalism).

I wish I could work myself up into a big rant along the lines of, "What kind of a world do we live in where people fixate on a decade-old murder and ignore vital stories like, uh, the one I happen to be covering?"  But I get it—when cute kids from safe neighborhoods get killed in their homes people are going to wonder what the hell happened.  When kids die in Iraq it's one of those things that makes you shake your head and page ahead to the sports section.  People can only handle so much tragedy before their eyes glaze over.

In a weird way, though, this story makes me miss the US.  Not because I wish I were back in Chicago discussing JonBenet over beers at the Hopleaf, but because it makes me realize how cut off I am from what people back in the States think about and care about (and, come to think of it, that "beer at the Hopleaf" part is pretty appealing).  I can't imagine how cut off ex-pats in a place like this would have been only 10 or 15 years ago.  I can sit at my desk and read pretty much any local US paper I want, I can download hours of American music, I can read blogs and baseball recaps.  I can keep up with the same goofy internet fads as everyone else.  I don't watch much TV here but last night I watched a fairly recent episode of Letterman.  I've seen Miami Vice on DVD.

That said, being immersed in internet and TV culture is not the same thing as being immersed in US culture (unless something has gone horribly wrong since I skipped out in April).  I have all the data, but none of the texture.  I'm missing out on the moments and conversations that make up everyday life.  I was talking to Bobby and a couple of western diplomats the other day about Iraqi exiles, and the rude awakening they got when they returned to Iraq during the spring and summer of 2003.  I think they ran into the same problem (magnified by the totalitarian lockdown on information and travel under Saddam's regime).  Many of the exiles are brilliant and well-meaning people, but that isn't enough.  They knew about Iraq, but they didn't really know Iraq. http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/5713946

 

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